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Tips for the Newly Diagnosed

2 Sep

Tips for the Newly Diagnosed

September 1, 2012

I found out this morning that another friend was diagnosed with breast cancer.

It really does feel like a bit of an epidemic.  At least among those in my age range (40- 60 years old.)

Now I know that the idea I had a couple of days ago is right on target.  I need to summarize what I’ve learned in the last fifteen months so that someone who is newly diagnosed will have some tips on how to navigate the first month or two following a diagnosis.

So here you are, Lisa.  And anyone else out there who has just received “the news” that they have breast cancer.

 

  1. Give yourself the time and space to feel your feelings.  It is normal to “freak out” emotionally when you get this news.  You may look normal to the outsider, but on the inside, be assured there is some panic going on.  Even if you seem strangely calm, do not be deceived – you are likely in shock.  You may notice, for instance, that your normally assertive and intelligent self fails to ask for definitions of the many new terms being thrown at you by the radiologist who reviews your mammograms and/or your primary doctor and/or your breast doctor.  You may notice that when asked if you have any questions, your mind draws a blank.  It’s because you’re in shock, my dear.  Believe me, the questions are likely to come later – probably when you’re trying to sleep.  If you don’t give yourself time to feel your feelings and begin to process them, you may find yourself a bit vulnerable to accidents (hopefully minor) or unexpected outbursts.  Like the time I was getting ready to go for a consultation and I found myself bumping into furniture, stubbing my toes, and dropping things.  I was so nervous.  I finally realized that if I didn’t take the time to sit down and really breathe – or cry, I was probably going to really hurt myself!  If you allow time and space for emotional outbursts, you are less likely, as well, to freak out in an inappropriate situation like at work or with your children.  If you actually schedule time to be alone – at home, at a park, or (I know this sounds oxymoronic) with a dear friend, you can allow yourself to scream, to cry, to rant, or to curl up in a fetal position.  Just try not to hyperventilate.  Remember to breathe.
  2. Make sure you’re comfortable with your doctors, surgeons, radiologists.  There is a good chance you are going to be seeing them several times and it is imperative that you trust them and that they show you respect.  If you have a good working relationship with your clinicians, it makes the whole process ever so much easier.  The very last thing you need right now is someone who is overbearing, rude, abrupt, or untrustworthy.  If you have any doubts, get a second opinion from another doctor.  I changed to a second doctor/expert early on and I was so very glad I did.
  3. Take time to make the decisions regarding treatment that are right for you.  This was the most helpful advice I ever got.  My dear friend, Julia, reminded me that the vast majority of cancers grow slowly over a period of time.  If you need a week or two or three to sort through the many options, do it!  This is your body and you must feel comfortable with your course of treatment.  Do not let doctors or clinicians pressure you to do something unless or until you have decided that it is an appropriate course of action for you.  Take the time to do research.  Look online, read books, talk to other breast cancer patients and survivors.  My advice is: use your brain, but in the end, trust your gut feelings.
  4. Change your diet right now.  Chances are there is room for improvement.  If you eat meat and dairy, greatly reduce consumption of both or make sure you are using hormone-free products – preferably also organic and/or locally raised.  (Locally raised livestock are less likely to be filled with all the chemicals and toxins that agribusiness routinely uses in their food “production.”)  Double, triple, quadruple the number of vegetables and fruits you consume.  Most veggies and fruits are not only extremely nutritious and supportive of your immune system, but many actually fight cancer.  They fight free radicals, they slow tumor growth, they neutralize nitrosamines and toxins, they balance out hormones, and they even help make changes at the DNA level.  You can’t afford NOT to eat lots of produce.  (Again, please try to make it organic if at all possible, or from local farms and gardens.)  Consume lots of salads and soups and smoothies.  And throw in things like chopped kale, onions, carrots, and flaxseed into almost everything you consume.
  5. Make your environment as pure as possible.   Drink pure, filtered water whenever possible.  Use natural cleaning products and detergents.  Don’t use air fresheners, hair sprays, and certainly no weedkillers on your lawn or pesticides around your home.  Consider not using nail polish or hair gel or perms or harsh dyes.  And definitely don’t drink out of plastic drink containers that have been left in a hot, sunny car.  And definitely don’t microwave in plastic containers.  (In fact, try to avoid microwaving as there are some studies which show the nutrition is completely lost in the process.)
  6. Cut way back on alcohol consumption.  Quit smoking cigarettes.
  7. Exercise.  Maintain a healthy body weight.  Personally, I find walking good for my spirit as well as my body.
  8. Try to get as much sleep as you can and make your bedroom dark at night. (Except for moonlight.  Moonlight is very good for you.)
  9. Under your doctor’s guidance, make sure you are getting enough Vitamin D.  Those lacking sufficient Vitamin D are more prone to cancer.  Consider also the possibility of adding other medicinal herbs or supplements to your health regime.
  10. STOP DOING THOSE THINGS THAT STRESS YOU OUT!  If you hate your job, now might be an excellent time to leave it.  If the company of certain people makes you anxious, stop spending time with them.  If you are over-committed and overwhelmed, let go of as many commitments as possible.  This is major TAKE-CARE-OF-YOURSELF TIME!!!  Everyone and everything else must take a lower priority right now.  Even if you have children, you must place your needs at the top of the list right now.  After all, if you don’t do all that you can to get well, they could lose their mother.  YOU are the priority!  YOU!!!
  11. Enlist and/or accept the support you need right now.  If someone offers to take care of your kids, if they are a responsible person, by all means, say yes.  If someone offers to accompany you to an appointment or to drive you, if that would be comforting and helpful, say yes.  If someone offers to make you some healthy food, say yes!  Now is not the time to be a martyr and do it all yourself.  Allow yourself to be supported.
  12. If you are uninsured or do not have the funds to pay for your treatment, ask the doctor’s office to put you in touch with a social worker.  All hospitals have social workers and they can help you navigate the system and get the care you need.  In Pennsylvania, at least, if you have breast or ovarian cancer, my understanding is they will expedite your medical assistance application.
  13. Give yourself time to do the work on your emotional, psychological, and spiritual issues.  Oftentimes there is an unexplored or unresolved old issue or habit that can be part of the root of your illness.  For instance, many women are trained from a very young age to take care of everyone else first.  If this describes you, you may need to learn the lesson that you are important and worthy of care.  For others, they may have had a lifelong dream to do something very big or meaningful or special or exciting.  It may be time to dust off that dream.  For others, they may have a deep spiritual yearning for greater connection with the divine or greater peace.  This may be time to deepen your spiritual practices.  Find friends that you trust, a good counselor or clergyperson or spiritual advisor, and give yourself permission to work to get healthier on many levels – not simply at the physical level.
  14. Above all, now is the time for MAXIMUM SELF-CARE!  Now is the time for flowers on your table, delicious healthy food, movies, books, time in nature – whatever represents nurturing to you.  And now may be the time for massages, facials, Reiki, or acupuncture.  (Check with your doctor about any contraindications.)  Treat yourself the way you would treat an especially beloved friend or family member.  You deserve to be treated well!!!

May you be well, friends.  May you be healthy and well. This is a scary time, but it can also be a powerful, life-changing time.  Take it one day at a time.  And take care of you.

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Moving through Fear into a Greater Connection with the Divine

3 Mar

March 2, 2012

So I am continuing to process my last two blog entries regarding food and fear and I am realizing they are related.  This is where I am today:

  1. I think the scary dreams are warning dreams, as opposed to prophetic dreams. I think they are messages sent to me which say: If you don’t get on the right course, this is what is likely to happen.
  2. I’m feeling a little bit less anxious because three or four times now this week, I have had pH readings in the optimal alkaline zone.  (Yay me!!!)   This is extremely encouraging.  If I can stay in this zone 5-6 days out of the week, I will feel like I’m on the right track.
  3. This morning’s card was labeled “Fear.” The message was to look at my fears to see if they are valid or if perhaps my imagination is running away with me.  In my case, I think they are reasonable concerns, but I also think I have allowed them to become too consuming.   This card confirms that “fear is a crippling companion.”  It indicates “a loss of faith and connection with the Divine.”

I really need to look at this.   I think of myself as a spiritual being, but have I been walking the walk?  Have I been immersing myself in the presence of the Divine?  Have I been having conversations with God/Goddess/Great Spirit on a regular enough basis?  Have I allowed the healing energy of Divine Presence to flow through me?

This takes commitment on my part.  I need to carve out time in which I can really sink into Sacred Space. One cannot do deep healing or spiritual work in a fast-food, drive-through kind of way.  Although one can certainly offer small prayers all day long, true connection with Source probably requires a slightly larger allocation of time.

I ask myself, What are ways I can sink into a deeper Sacred Space?

Here are my answers.  Yours may very well be different.

  • Spend time in Nature.  This can mean a walk through the woods, it can mean sitting on a chair under the trees, it can mean lying on the sand at the beach.  The most important thing is being present to the Beauty that is all around.  Let the Beauty feed your soul.
  • Prayer/chanting/singing/meditation.  I’m putting them altogether because chanting and singing are forms of prayer and meditation for me.  Whenever I try praying in a more traditional way (with spoken words), it never feels like enough.  It doesn’t feel deep enough, heartfelt enough.  But if I sing or dance my prayers, they take on greater meaning. I can feel my yearning come through more readily.
  • Art/painting/drawing.  This is something I love to do, and for some reason, resist.  But when I feel inspired and allow that creativity to flow through me, I find myself really happy.  And I imagine the Spirit of Divinity is present in me and through me.
  • Massage/healing.  This pertains to both the giving and receiving of it.  Both can be enormous opportunities for grace and healing and peace.  I continue to practice being in sacred space when I give massage.  However, it is clear I need to find a  way to receive more massage, reverent touch, and healing.
  • Find a wonderful dream group.  I continue to be blessed with an abundance of dreams.  (Relatively few are scary, but I seem to share more of those kind with you!)  What I would love to manifest is a dream group which knows how to enter the sacred space in which dreams and insights can be gently shared in a respectful way.  There is so much richness in our dreams!

May you discover the ways in which you can deepen your connection to the Divine.  As for me?  I’m going to go paint.  Right now!!!