I just posted this on my Dreaming Sacred Dreams blog, and it felt really important to share with any of you women (or men) facing the possibility or reality of breast cancer. May it help take a bit of the pressure off. Blessings, my friends. https://dreamingsacreddreams.wordpress.com/2015/06/10/gods-driving/
I had a dream a few years ago. In fact it was eight months after my breast cancer diagnosis and lumpectomy.
I was a bit adrift in my life at that time, not exactly sure what I wanted to be doing next. Or perhaps I wasn’t yet ready to admit what I wanted to be doing next. That year was a process, a year of feeling my feelings and letting things unfold in their own time. I had become weary of pushing through things, of being ultra-responsible to many others while disregarding my own desires. This was a year of rest, reflection, discovery, and dreaming.
I had a dream in April of 2012. I was in a car wheeling down the road, in and around curves when I noticed a nearby policeman. Immediately I also realized that there was no one behind the driver’s wheel! I had a feeling the cop would probably take issue with that. My next thought was, “God’s driving.” I wondered how the policeman would feel about that. I smiled.
A few months ago I felt guided to create some divination cards based on some of the more potent dreams I’ve had. (“Divination,” for those unfamiliar with the term, is a process of using one’s intuition to divine guidance and answers to questions. Oftentimes other tools are involved: cards, runes, things with symbols on them.) I created this handmade deck of Sacred Dream cards. And I’ve been pulling this card a lot lately. “God’s driving.”
Nowadays, a little over three years after that dream, I have created a life for myself that is generally much less stressful than the one I had been living between the years of 2006 and 2011. Now any of the pressure I feel is mostly self-applied: How many chapters can I write? How many walks can I fit in this week? How many healthy meals can I make? Do I have time to meet with my grieving widow friend? Is it time for another call to Mom? How can I make a bit more money?
But pressure is still pressure, no matter it’s source. I still have more to learn about living a life of balance. How do I find the balance between action and reflection, between constantly prodding myself to be productive and allowing myself to have fun? Can I learn to stop pushing the river and go with the flow?
I absolutely believe that we create the life we’re living—either consciously or unconsciously. I have consciously been creating and manifesting a life that feels healthier to my body and spirit. At the same time, I feel relief to think of the wisdom of this dream.
God’s driving. With Him at the driver’s wheel, perhaps I can relax a little bit. Perhaps I don’t have to figure everything out all the time. Perhaps I can let go and just enjoy the ride.